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Crimson​/​Amber

from Double Standards by Deranged Youth

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lyrics

Today is the day that I end it all
In a warm iron bath surrounded by fall
Silence abounds, as above, so below
It's not a solution but it's all that I know
Sentenced to death by ligature litigation
Both crime and punishment in my own island nation
Seceded from humanity for insubordination
All this effect with no cause
Secretly seeking a desensitizing solution
To this burden for which there is no absolution
Internalized suicide, habitual ritual
I want to die with my eyes open
Euthanasial euphemism
Black rainbows refractal through the schism
When there is no more desire
Sometimes the forest needs a fire

I wish I could bleed out the last of this
As I tire of this quagmire, drowning in piss
Reach to the abyss for a helping hand
I drop weightless as I squeeze water from land
Dead to the world, slip from the ledge
My only friend left is an earthen sledge
Lost to the searching eyes of a dredge
I become one with what I know
Suddenly my eyes slam open
Salt on my face, what I've been hoping
For, an embrace has always been there
The cries and pleas will fill empty chairs
The endless words, the tiny white pills
Promise to end apocalyptic chills
Not eternal night, nor infernal light
It's not perfection but it will make things right

Tired of running the same dug in track
Entrenching myself within all that I lack
The first step is not admitting defeat
But breaking through walls of self deceit
Chemical shitstorm in my brain
Diagnosed but not going insane
Is it karmic apathy or pharmacopathy?
BELIEVE WHAT THEY SAY!
I don't know if I can
I don't have what it takes to be...
JUST BE A MAN

I'm not looking for any praise
But I know there's no pride behind black lace
If you've made the wrong side right
Then raze your blades with me tonight

credits

from Double Standards, released February 12, 2017
Choral parts performed by Christa Jeck and Josh Fredette
Orchestra parts performed by Zach Glennon

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Deranged Youth Manchester, New Hampshire

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