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My feet are rebelling and slowing me down
The voices are yelling and keeping me up
The clock is ticking and so am I
Cough. Twist. Stop. Twitch.

I stare at the ceiling and ask it politely to
Fuck off and leave me alone for a while
But it fights me, compels me to clench and to grind
To do it again if its not satisfied
I stare at the floor and hope no one sees
When I curl and uncurl in patterns of three
Look harder, look different, they have to line up
If you don't do it this time

I cover my mouth and I try to stay silent
I scream at myself but i can't drown it out
When it whispers you have to
Cough. Twist. Stop. Twitch.
Count. Grind. Clench. Flinch.

I shake and I stare til it hurts but I have to
It haunts me it hounds me it keeps me awake
I try to ignore it but i'm far too afraid
Just keep obeying and try not to break

Cough. Twist. Stop. Twitch.
The clock is ticking and so am I


from Double Standards, released February 12, 2017
Choral parts performed by Christa Jeck and Josh Fredette
Orchestra parts performed by Zach Glennon



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